Tali'Thread vas Clan Zorah nar BSN 6.0

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8wEyZlhhbg

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5uW5v66-4s

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iY9o5WGL5pE

[Dragaros]

So apparently huge parts of the plot of Halo Infinite leaked thanks to much of its story being in the multiplayer beta files and folks found it during their datamining. I don't know how legit it is, but read at your own risk; potential massive spoilers:

► Show Spoiler

-MC is hunting down that Brute general that challenges him to a fight with the help of that pilot that found him.
-While doing this, he rescues several marines and Spartans on the Halo.
-Lots of side missions to hunt down the Banished's leadership and disrupt their raids.
-He acquires that AI companion that looks and sounds like Cortana but isn't. New!Cortana's mission is to kill the original Cortana.
-The Banished are kidnapping humans for some mysterious purpose, taking them to a place called the Palace of Pain.
-MC finds Cortana's citadel and the seat of her empire (Called the Silent Auditorium, a place originally built by the Forerunners) and discovers that she's already dead, killed by a new alien character called The Harbinger; she is a member of a race called The Endless that were imprisoned by the Forerunners long ago. (Its unclear if The Endless are a brand new species or just the Precursors with a new name/face) The Harbinger has been using and manipulating The Banished for her own ends to free the rest of her people.
-MC battles the Brute general, but he dies laughing as he thinks MC is too far behind to catch up to the Harbinger from carrying out her plans.
-MC battles and kills the Monitor of this Halo.
-Plot twist is MC and New!Cortana find evidence that proves that New!Cortana wasn't just made to look and sound like her, but was literally made from her; she's a direct digital copy/clone/reincarnation (essentially she is Cortana, minus the memories, without all the evil and crazy bits). New!Cortana wants to kill herself, both because she feels guilt of what the original Cortana did and because her orders were to kill Cortana and since she is her she needs to self-terminate to complete her mission. MC talks her out of it.
-MC and New!Cortana track down and fight The Harbinger and eventually kill her after a big battle, but not before she sets in motion the means to free the rest of The Endless. The citadel begins to collapse, and MC and New!Cortana escape death by jumping into a portal to an unknown destination.

This is the end of the story, but apparently there's evidence in the beta that suggests there is going to be multiple DLC story campaigns coming after release to wrap things up.

No mention of The Flood, the Arbiter, Blue Team, Fireteam Osiris, or Mendicant Bias found in the files so far.

[Ragabul]

The opposite is curious too, for example here in Italy, in the isle of Sicily we had dwarf elephants during prehistory: they migrated from Africa during one of the Ice Ages, when sea level was low, and when it rose up again theu found themselves stuck in a small enviroment and became the size of donkeys.

Speaking of weird interesting things on islands near Italy, apparently from genomics studies of various Europeans, Sardinians are the closest genetically to the proto-Europeans of 10000 or so years ago. There was a movement of farmers out of Anatolia roughly 10000 years ago who were the people who built most of the Stone Age tombs and monuments of Europe. Then around 4000ish years ago there was a mass movement of people into Europe out of the Steppe and most Europeans are now actually more related to those Steppe people than they are to the more ancient tomb builders. So strangely, Sardinians probably have more in common with the people that built Newgrange and Stonehenge than modern day British do.

I think evolutionary biology is super interesting in general.

[SciFlyBoy]

Yeah, I heard somewhere that the Celts were most likely from way eastern Europe before they migrated west.

Also I just learn about something called the Bronze Age collapse. I had no idea that civilization (in the middle east) was going well and then went dark for almost a thousand years before rebooting into the 'classical' age we know now.

[Vol]

So apparently huge parts of the plot of Halo Infinite leaked thanks to much of its story being in the multiplayer beta files and folks found it during their datamining. I don't know how legit it is, but read at your own risk; potential massive spoilers:

► Show Spoiler

-MC is hunting down that Brute general that challenges him to a fight with the help of that pilot that found him.
-While doing this, he rescues several marines and Spartans on the Halo.
-Lots of side missions to hunt down the Banished's leadership and disrupt their raids.
-He acquires that AI companion that looks and sounds like Cortana but isn't. New!Cortana's mission is to kill the original Cortana.
-The Banished are kidnapping humans for some mysterious purpose, taking them to a place called the Palace of Pain.
-MC finds Cortana's citadel and the seat of her empire (Called the Silent Auditorium, a place originally built by the Forerunners) and discovers that she's already dead, killed by a new alien character called The Harbinger; she is a member of a race called The Endless that were imprisoned by the Forerunners long ago. (Its unclear if The Endless are a brand new species or just the Precursors with a new name/face) The Harbinger has been using and manipulating The Banished for her own ends to free the rest of her people.
-MC battles the Brute general, but he dies laughing as he thinks MC is too far behind to catch up to the Harbinger from carrying out her plans.
-MC battles and kills the Monitor of this Halo.
-Plot twist is MC and New!Cortana find evidence that proves that New!Cortana wasn't just made to look and sound like her, but was literally made from her; she's a direct digital copy/clone/reincarnation (essentially she is Cortana, minus the memories, without all the evil and crazy bits). New!Cortana wants to kill herself, both because she feels guilt of what the original Cortana did and because her orders were to kill Cortana and since she is her she needs to self-terminate to complete her mission. MC talks her out of it.
-MC and New!Cortana track down and fight The Harbinger and eventually kill her after a big battle, but not before she sets in motion the means to free the rest of The Endless. The citadel begins to collapse, and MC and New!Cortana escape death by jumping into a portal to an unknown destination.

This is the end of the story, but apparently there's evidence in the beta that suggests there is going to be multiple DLC story campaigns coming after release to wrap things up.

No mention of The Flood, the Arbiter, Blue Team, Fireteam Osiris, or Mendicant Bias found in the files so far.

Bruh.

Unrelated, decided to learn to grill. Had a very productive week, so I could spare a little from my relatively acetic budget (by American standards). Charcoal of course, though it seems to be a fair bit of work to get going. Nothing appears to be too complicated or arcane, fundamentals of combustion to get things going, heat zones make sense. Timing is what'll bother me the most, as that can only be learned from subjective experience.

Why, yes, my greatest fear is being incompetent in something I do, how could you tell?

But I'm looking forward to it. And ideally, having more good work weeks, because this year's been lackluster so far.

[Vol]

Yeah, I heard somewhere that the Celts were most likely from way eastern Europe before they migrated west.

Also I just learn about something called the Bronze Age collapse. I had no idea that civilization (in the middle east) was going well and then went dark for almost a thousand years before rebooting into the 'classical' age we know now.

The Sea People thing, right?

But yeah, as I understand it, the reason the ancient near east made such a central pillar of "order," in what extant writings we have, is because of how fragile "order" really was. And is. All it takes is a bigger kid tot smash your toys, and you're back to nomads and subsistence farmers.

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=022lR_HrVnI

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qu49rq5ePJA

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJMPvNj4t9w

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZzffGsMYso

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6hBizPCBcs

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NucEmNpSJl4

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKAQZMstU-c

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=254GS9ey26A

[Vol]

Martini- 3 gin:1 vermouth
Gin and tonic- 1 gin:4 tonic

Brits, explain yourself. If I'm drinking liquid Christmas tree, I wanna be festive, but the latter appears to be far more effort to become so.

[TTTX]

The Sea People thing, right?

But yeah, as I understand it, the reason the ancient near east made such a central pillar of "order," in what extant writings we have, is because of how fragile "order" really was. And is. All it takes is a bigger kid tot smash your toys, and you're back to nomads and subsistence farmers.

from what we know of the sea people (even then we only have 1 source that the sea people even existed) was at least the final nail in the coffin for a lot of the civilizations around the time, chances are there were more going at the time that helped caused the collapse along with the sea people, kinda like how the French revolution was building over decades, but thanks to some volcanos over in Iceland erupting causing years of bad harvest while the nobility kept on parting while the people starved so eventually things just exploded.

[Ragabul]

and you're back to nomads

Kinda funny because we are increasingly learning that grassland nomad pastoralists really kick ass and have done from roughly 4000 years up until the wide use of reliable gunpowder weapons. They don't occasionally kick ass when they rise up as Mongols or Huns. They consistently kick ass. A *huge* percentage of the organizing power of civilization has come down to something like "how can we possibly stop these nomads from invading and sacking things." The only things I know of that consistently worked were bribes and tribute, the Walls of Constantinople, and eventually gunpowder. (Also ironic because the Ottomans who eventually got through the walls of Constantinople were descended from Steppe tribes). Even here the Comanches more or less held back Spanish and American expansion into the Southern Great Plains for around 200 years. Horse archers + light cavalry really were the pinnacle of military technology for thousands of years. Everybody tends to focus on the innovation of heavy cavalry or longbows but those don't really have near the track record of success overall.

One other thing that probably broke their might was also the transition of trade from the overland Silk Road to be more based on shipping. There's always been lots of seagoing trade but it became dominant along the same time gunpowder weapons were becoming a thing.

I am resisting with every fiber of my being dumping book suggestions, lol.

[Ragabul]

So in unrelated things apparently skateboarding got made an Olympic sport this year. I know pretty much nothing about skateboarding but it sounded like it might be one of the more fun things to watch so I did. It was initially kinda boring but then I decided to start playing terrible 90s punk rock while watching and it made it so much better.

Also, I decided to watch some of the weird horse sports and apparently the Germans are like really good at this which is very Prussian and/or Hapsburg of them.

[Dragaros]

https://www.warhammer-community.com/202 ... ot-riders/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTB_Sku-VAA

[Dragaros]

[Dragaros]

[Dragaros]

[Dragaros]

[Dragaros]

[Dragaros]

[Dragaros]

[Dragaros]

[Dragaros]

[Vol]

Took a walk to get some milk, bit further than normal since the deli right next door closed down. SUV with some young guys honked at me, then flipped me off.

I was very confused. Then I realized I was wearing running shorts, a tight, light blue shirt, and had my hair in ponytail. Clearly, I was giving off major homo vibes. Didn't react, of course. Was more baffled that young men hadn't had that kind of high-spirited annoyance hammered out of them. In a way, it was almost nice to be mocked for looking effete from behind.

@TX: Yeah, barring any technological advance they had that enabled them to decimate everyone else, it seems most likely that civilization as they knew it simply wasn't sustainable with whatever they were doing. The presence of an external threat sped it up, and enabled people to figure their shit out and rise back up. "This too shall pass."

@Raga: As it turns out, we figured out optimal lifestyles for desired outcomes a long time ago! Nomadic pastorals, over generations, results in big, beefy, bellicose men, because of course it does. Very high protein, animals fats, dairy, intuitively it results in strong lads a heart attacks at 70. And vice-versa for the Japanese diet, small people, long lived.

Seems like, for men anyway, using animal fats or olive oil for cooking, and none of the others, is probably the best way to go about it. I've cooked with lard, and while it stank, it did have a more satisfying result than I expected. And then olive oil/butter for literally anything else. Then at 60, pivot the Med/Jap diet before your heart's had enough of your shit. It's a foolproof plan!

[Ragabul]

Ironically, I have actually been on basically that diet (with more vegetables) since last December. I had put on more weight than I should have in the last decade mostly because my butt is parked at a desk all day. I get annual physicals and my blood work started coming back not great last year. My family has a genetic predisposition towards Type II diabetes even when not particularly overweight so that was a major wake up call. I went to a sort of low carb diet I mostly made up and didn't base on any formal regimen. I pretty much stopped eating anything made from grain (bread, noodles, rice), starchy vegetables, beans, and sugary junk. I get one "cheat" day roughly once a week in which I can have Ramen or pizza or whatever. I do whatever I want on holidays and birthdays. I have shed pretty much all the excess weight and nearly back down to my weight from my early 20s. I call it a diet but it's really a lifestyle change.

It's also not even a hard diet to follow because it's satisfying because of all the protein. My hunger is actually lower throughout the day and I also just eat way less food. It certainly helps if you like meat, nuts, and cheese (thank you, probable Steppe ancestors, for your gift of lactose tolerance). I still mostly don't eat fried stuff and when I do it's mostly fried in olive oil. Lots of grilled and roasted stuff. Lots of soup. The main thing I think that is a danger is lack of vegetables. I have to concentrate to eat them. But then I wasn't really eating enough vegetables before this diet either.

*Edit* And I have experimented with what I can do without putting the weight back on and for some reason honey doesn't seem to matter much. Not eating it by the bowl obviously, but I've taken to putting honey and milk in my tea and drinking that most days. It satisfies cravings for sweet. Honey in yogurt is another one that has been fine. Also something it took me a shamefully long time to realize is that I can totally still eat barbecue. That's ended up working out great for times when people want to go out to eat and not put up my weird diet demands or when I just want something delivered. Every third place in Texas is a barbecue joint more or less.

[SciFlyBoy]

I'm talking to a woman I met on Tinder and I have a feeling she's soon going to be asking me about my investment strategies and that I should invest with her friend who runs a bitcoin fund right away. I don't know though, this is only the 4th woman I met on Tinder who currently lives in Asia and wants to chat on WhatsApp.

1st one I met a year ago on Tinder and asked to use WhatsApp. (I had learned previously that WhatsApp is very popular in Asia) She currently lived in Guangzhou, was cute, loved talking to me, but soon shared charts about investments and talked about bitcoin strategy. Then she insisted that I invest with her guy's firm. INSISTED! I said no, she said that's alright and that we'll still chat, then stopped chatting.

2nd and 3rd happened months later and at the same time. Met over Tinder, asked to use WhatsApp. One lived in Taiwan the other in Singapore. We chatted, very cute and into me, then at the same time I kid you not, both asked if I understood a certain financial chart/if I'm currently into investments. They stopped chatting right after I said I was taken care of.

This one begins the same. Tinder>WhatsApp, but she lives in Japan. When describing herself she ended with 'she pays attention to financial knowledge to enrich herself.' So I'm bracing for the inevitable chart or the discussion to turn to investment strategies and that I should talk to her guy right now.

Then again, she could just want to talk and is looking for someone to meet up with when she returns to Los Angeles. We'll see.

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x97NRkFtH3I

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07IAmNSX6-E

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwQv_7euPLM

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0u__DXn9iU

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19aPS7Ceo00

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvFpZjjplrc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13dId2lnQt0

[Vol]

Mongol good, farming bad

I make that point often to my father, when he contrasts his childhood, where fat kids were rare, to what we see when we're working near a school. We probably ate very similar diets to those kids now, but we would be outdoors, playing from dawn 'till dusk and longer if allowed. That applies to adulthood too. If I'm not working, I can barely eat and be fine, my basal metabolic rate can only be so high. If I am working, I need to load on carbs the night before, proteins, and then have small, sugary snacks/drinks during the day to keep me energized. My family, however, is somehow extra resistant to type 2, to a degree that baffles me. I know it's been renamed from "adult onset diabetes" because so many kids have had their insulin response destroyed, but I cannot imagine what a herculean effort that must've taken, unless it's purely a genetic factor how easily and young it happens.

Granted, I have way more leeway than most people. My BMR is supposed to be around 2500 cal/day, and it's not far off. Though I would like to try a more nomadic sort of diet, eschew most grains (not pasta), and go off mostly animal products, some simple veg for fiber, and dairy. Much as a nice cup of spicy ramen for lunch is, couple scraps of steak seared real quick with a big glass of milk and a little roasted pepper sounds so much better. Fried food is my Achilles tho, it's too calorific, I can't resist.

As I understand it, honey, fruit, they're not nearly as bad as other avenues of sugar, because the material its contained in greatly reduced digestion, and the resultant insulin response + other arcane digestive processes. Had some honey, milk, and tea the other day on a whim. Was really quite nice, better than the instant coffee I've been drinking lately. Need to figure out the ratios for an entire carafe at once.

I'm talking to a woman I met on Tinder and I have a feeling she's soon going to be asking me about my investment strategies and that I should invest with her friend who runs a bitcoin fund right away. I don't know though, this is only the 4th woman I met on Tinder who currently lives in Asia and wants to chat on WhatsApp.

1st one I met a year ago on Tinder and asked to use WhatsApp. (I had learned previously that WhatsApp is very popular in Asia) She currently lived in Guangzhou, was cute, loved talking to me, but soon shared charts about investments and talked about bitcoin strategy. Then she insisted that I invest with her guy's firm. INSISTED! I said no, she said that's alright and that we'll still chat, then stopped chatting.

2nd and 3rd happened months later and at the same time. Met over Tinder, asked to use WhatsApp. One lived in Taiwan the other in Singapore. We chatted, very cute and into me, then at the same time I kid you not, both asked if I understood a certain financial chart/if I'm currently into investments. They stopped chatting right after I said I was taken care of.

This one begins the same. Tinder>WhatsApp, but she lives in Japan. When describing herself she ended with 'she pays attention to financial knowledge to enrich herself.' So I'm bracing for the inevitable chart or the discussion to turn to investment strategies and that I should talk to her guy right now.

Then again, she could just want to talk and is looking for someone to meet up with when she returns to Los Angeles. We'll see.

Are you filtering specifically for Asian girls or just lucky that way?

But yeah, they all sound shady as hell. No one talks to a complete stranger, an American looking for a relationship no less, and launches into asking for money for their investment fund. On Tinder.

Though weirdly enough, I was doing a paid survey earlier today, and there was a whole segment about Tinder on a social media one, and how often I theoretically come across or worry about fake accounts trying to do just that sort of thing. So it's a corporate concern.

But man, I wish you the best on that pursuit. I haven't tried at all in quite a few years, much less kept economic pace to where I "should" be at this age. Though depending on what you're looking for, there are services for east Asian women seeking American men. Not romantic, and obviously transactional, but at least its honest and upfront. You seem like a decent fellow by any standard, and being a provider in America goes a long, long way, especially if you want kids.

Regardless, "hey cutie, come invest in this guy I know," is the weirdest one I've heard in a while.

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBq8eFHNmv4

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5ndvS3PgTQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuQPDoMjYwM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rmWq7kYag8

[Dragaros]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydBVToeAt8w

[Dragaros]

[TTTX]

@TX: Yeah, barring any technological advance they had that enabled them to decimate everyone else, it seems most likely that civilization as they knew it simply wasn't sustainable with whatever they were doing. The presence of an external threat sped it up, and enabled people to figure their shit out and rise back up. "This too shall pass."

indeed, i wouldn't be surprised if the "sea" people was horde similar to the Huns or Mongolians or vikings and wanted land or riches or food etc. for themselves which forced a lot of those their victimes to become new "sea" people in order not to starve or just survive as their society collapsed and basically creating a domino effect that caused close to every society (that we know of) to collapse.

[SciFlyBoy]

I make that point often to my father, when he contrasts his childhood, where fat kids were rare, to what we see when we're working near a school. We probably ate very similar diets to those kids now, but we would be outdoors, playing from dawn 'till dusk and longer if allowed. That applies to adulthood too. If I'm not working, I can barely eat and be fine, my basal metabolic rate can only be so high. If I am working, I need to load on carbs the night before, proteins, and then have small, sugary snacks/drinks during the day to keep me energized. My family, however, is somehow extra resistant to type 2, to a degree that baffles me. I know it's been renamed from "adult onset diabetes" because so many kids have had their insulin response destroyed, but I cannot imagine what a herculean effort that must've taken, unless it's purely a genetic factor how easily and young it happens.

Granted, I have way more leeway than most people. My BMR is supposed to be around 2500 cal/day, and it's not far off. Though I would like to try a more nomadic sort of diet, eschew most grains (not pasta), and go off mostly animal products, some simple veg for fiber, and dairy. Much as a nice cup of spicy ramen for lunch is, couple scraps of steak seared real quick with a big glass of milk and a little roasted pepper sounds so much better. Fried food is my Achilles tho, it's too calorific, I can't resist.

As I understand it, honey, fruit, they're not nearly as bad as other avenues of sugar, because the material its contained in greatly reduced digestion, and the resultant insulin response + other arcane digestive processes. Had some honey, milk, and tea the other day on a whim. Was really quite nice, better than the instant coffee I've been drinking lately. Need to figure out the ratios for an entire carafe at once.

I have this weird thing I share with my Mom where my Bad Cholesterol, LDL I believe, is ridiculously low and that's my normal. So low that my doctor's usually get bug eyed when they see my blood tests. I try to get them to tell me what my personal highs and lows should be, but since it's lower than everyone else's they keep telling me there's nothing for me to worry about.

I've been keeping a 1200-1500 calorie diet lately and I've been maintaining a weight of 165 consistently for about 3 weeks now, dropped from low 170s about a month or so ago. That's not a lot of calories for having handfuls of belly fat and love handles and other handfuls of squishy stuff all over. I'm personally trying to eat my way (in a healthy manner) to 153, but I have a feeling that my diet alone can only take me so far. If I add high intensity cardio to my regular routine I should see some dramatic improvements.

Are you filtering specifically for Asian girls or just lucky that way?

But yeah, they all sound shady as hell. No one talks to a complete stranger, an American looking for a relationship no less, and launches into asking for money for their investment fund. On Tinder.

Though weirdly enough, I was doing a paid survey earlier today, and there was a whole segment about Tinder on a social media one, and how often I theoretically come across or worry about fake accounts trying to do just that sort of thing. So it's a corporate concern.

But man, I wish you the best on that pursuit. I haven't tried at all in quite a few years, much less kept economic pace to where I "should" be at this age. Though depending on what you're looking for, there are services for east Asian women seeking American men. Not romantic, and obviously transactional, but at least its honest and upfront. You seem like a decent fellow by any standard, and being a provider in America goes a long, long way, especially if you want kids.

Regardless, "hey cutie, come invest in this guy I know," is the weirdest one I've heard in a while.

I'm not filtering, it's just that they are the only ones matching with me and writing to me. The way Tinder works is both of you have to swipe right on each other in order to match. And my photos aren't that bad, I'm rather dashing in my grey suit.

Part of their routine is that the app states they live in Los Angeles, but when they write you they're visiting family, or stuck because of covid. The one I'm talking to now lives 34 miles away, but headed back home to take care of her dad who had an accident. So it's usually fits to that pattern.

Here's a test for you, make up a Tinder account and swipe right on every skinny asian girl you desire and see if any write back requesting to talk on WhatsApp. I guarantee their hometown is not far from you, they're just visiting family.

It is nice to chat with someone you met on a dating app though.

[Ragabul]

@Diet stuff

I've utterly ignored calories. I specifically did not want to calculate anything. So no calorie counting and no carb counting. I have 0 ideas how many calories I eat each day. I don't exercise really so this is probably a luxury of that. I eat one meal a day, usually at night. When I first started I would get hungry during the day and I would eat nuts until the hunger went away. Now most days I don't even get hungry until meal time. If I do I will eat nuts, yogurt, eggs, or sometimes just straight cheese.

If I have munchies where I just want to eat something but I'm not even hungry I will just sit there eating like spinach leaves or arugula or such.

Metabolism is so idiosyncratic that there seems to be nothing for it but experimentation. This has worked fantastically for me but I've talked to other people who have done similar and lost *some* weight but not anything particularly dramatic.

*Edit*

I also might be implying this is easier than it is because Theo is the cook. It's a lot easier when you mostly don't have to do meal prep.

[Mazder]

Man, diet stuff is just...argh.
Trying to cut back on stuff sucks, especially when it's also considering portion sizes and shit like that.
Tried my fitness pal for a while until that piece of shit app had basically no UK stuff in it that could be done easily and I had to manually input everything, which was a chore and made me stop.
You want to help a fatass lose weight? Don't make it more difficult than it already is!!! Or more annoying!
I already have diet change, exercise starting, depression, cost, not being the main meals person, and the UK sporadic summer that can't be acclimatised to working against me, don't make me count calories and input maths and stuff!

But that might also be the fact that my meals are "fine" but the snacking and downtime in between leads to boredom grazing and I honestly just lack something in me to know my limits. I mean, right now I really don't know how to stop. Logically I know how, but physically I just...don't?

On a more serious note I am trying to get regular exercise in, bodyweight stuff mostly to support my body so I can add cardio later so the only thing that is screwing me up is my shitty respiratory system. Trouble is right now I am baby in terms of doing things and even the most basic shit puts me out for the rest of the week and I can't even do that.
Plus trying to relearn art again now I fixed my tablet.
And I'm just on that downward depressive spiral and I just find no progress so I am falling back into old habits and it hurts. Don't want to go back, can't go forwards. Can't do my way because I don't even have a way any more but everyone else's way makes it hurt.

Maybe this should go in the therapy thread? :/

[Vol]

But that might also be the fact that my meals are "fine" but the snacking and downtime in between leads to boredom grazing and I honestly just lack something in me to know my limits. I mean, right now I really don't know how to stop. Logically I know how, but physically I just...don't?

On a more serious note I am trying to get regular exercise in, bodyweight stuff mostly to support my body so I can add cardio later so the only thing that is screwing me up is my shitty respiratory system. Trouble is right now I am baby in terms of doing things and even the most basic shit puts me out for the rest of the week and I can't even do that.
Plus trying to relearn art again now I fixed my tablet.
And I'm just on that downward depressive spiral and I just find no progress so I am falling back into old habits and it hurts. Don't want to go back, can't go forwards. Can't do my way because I don't even have a way any more but everyone else's way makes it hurt.

Maybe this should go in the therapy thread? :/

Willpower is finite, undertrained, and takes time to replenish. It needs to be hoarded and spent with avarice. Raga & Sci have the right of it, in different words. Mustering the will to immediately make the big, important we know are good and desire to do, that's something for heroes or the strong-willed. For people like me, and I assume you, it's more to make precious use of that sparse resource, to plant a flag on one, specific new behavior, and not a singular action.

I.e., "You know what, fuck soda, and fuck the companies that make it," vs, "I'm not gonna have a Coke with dinner no matter how great it'd be."

The former is not ironclad, though 0 sugar helps a ton with weight specifically, but it's a better path to effective change than spending that little spurt of willpower we get on an immediate, fleeting goal. That's how I function, anyway. Leveraging what I've accepted about my nature into steady, if very slow, change, or at the least, not being worse than I was.

Hey, bodyweight is hard too. Took me years of exercise, of which I sure wasn't consistent, to do a proper pushup, much less a set. Never used my chest for much, long arms, heavy body, was a lot of work to even get up to that. First time I did squats, just bodyweight, think I did a few sets, and my legs were ruined for a week after, the DOMS was so bad. Only thing worse than those experiences was imagining remaining like that.

Hear you on the art tho. Forced myself to do at least 3 quick gesture sketches a week this year. Kept up with so far, but looking through the sketchbook every week is a deeply unpleasant experience. Unless I'm freehand copying someone else's work. Drawing from life, abominable. No other way though, there's a quote about needing to draw 10,000 shit pieces before getting to good ones, and that seems very true.

Though now I'm more concerned if my upper aorta is predisposed to spontaneously rupture or not, kinda need to sort that out before going hard on exercise again, heh.

[Mazder]

Willpower is finite, undertrained, and takes time to replenish. It needs to be hoarded and spent with avarice. Raga & Sci have the right of it, in different words. Mustering the will to immediately make the big, important we know are good and desire to do, that's something for heroes or the strong-willed. For people like me, and I assume you, it's more to make precious use of that sparse resource, to plant a flag on one, specific new behavior, and not a singular action.

I.e., "You know what, fuck soda, and fuck the companies that make it," vs, "I'm not gonna have a Coke with dinner no matter how great it'd be."

The former is not ironclad, though 0 sugar helps a ton with weight specifically, but it's a better path to effective change than spending that little spurt of willpower we get on an immediate, fleeting goal. That's how I function, anyway. Leveraging what I've accepted about my nature into steady, if very slow, change, or at the least, not being worse than I was.

Hey, bodyweight is hard too. Took me years of exercise, of which I sure wasn't consistent, to do a proper pushup, much less a set. Never used my chest for much, long arms, heavy body, was a lot of work to even get up to that. First time I did squats, just bodyweight, think I did a few sets, and my legs were ruined for a week after, the DOMS was so bad. Only thing worse than those experiences was imagining remaining like that.

Hear you on the art tho. Forced myself to do at least 3 quick gesture sketches a week this year. Kept up with so far, but looking through the sketchbook every week is a deeply unpleasant experience. Unless I'm freehand copying someone else's work. Drawing from life, abominable. No other way though, there's a quote about needing to draw 10,000 shit pieces before getting to good ones, and that seems very true.

Though now I'm more concerned if my upper aorta is predisposed to spontaneously rupture or not, kinda need to sort that out before going hard on exercise again, heh.

Yeah. I find my willpower is more finite than others. I just don't know how people do things they don't like.
I already switched to sugar free sodas so that's one goal down. I gotta flush my system of the dependency on the flavour of Pepsi Max so I can move on to water and be happy with it.

The small steps are okay, but I rapidly feel like I am running out of "good" time when approaching 30 as apparently it all gets harder form then on, and if it gets harder I don't know if I have the strength to keep trying to fix and just accepting the failure. I mean, I kinda already accept that even if I succeed in fat loss I will probably never feel comfortable in my body with the excess skin problem, so it kinda colours all the potential success.
It also doesn't help that I am trapped in a council flat that squeaks with every step, and anything more is known by everyone in the building. I don't like people watching me in the vulnerable state and even knowing they can hear is kind of enough.

As far as art goes I think I have mostly lost my once middling talent. I feel like the first caveman making fire. Just "clunk clunk clunk, oog!".